Cliff's Story
Cliff was born on 1st May, 1979, in Aberdeen, Scotland. He lived the first 8 months of his life in Scotland on a farm whre he had a shetland pony and doberman dog. His Grandma and Grandpa doted on him.
We moved to Alberta, Canada and lived there very happily for three years until we were moved to Lybia and came to live in Malta. We had an acreage with horses and dogs and a big house where Cliff loved to play in the snow.
Soon after his fourth birthday his dad left and we never saw or heard from him again. Cliff and I were left on our own. His Grandma and Grandpa decided that they didn't want anything to do with us, so we stayed on in Malta where we made some really good friends. If any little boy deserved a father, Cliff did, but he never knew one.
It wasn't easy but I brought him up as best I could and tried to give him everything I could. He went to a really good school, which was the main reason we stayed in Malta, and we found friends who looked after Cliff.
First of all, he attended Verdala American school, and then the European community school where he obtained 7 'o' levels. He had lots of friends and was never alone. I used to wake up and find he had climbed out the window and gone to the neighbours house for breakfast. They loved him as their own.
I met his stepfather when he was 11 and was so happy that Cliff had a father in his life at last. Then, along came his little brother Ramon. Cliff was never once jealous, but so happy to have a little brother at last.
He took some wrong steps along the way, but I always tried to get him back on the right track. He loved ten pin bowling and went abroad to bowl for the Malta team when he was 15. He was really good at tennis and was coaching under the Malta champion. Most of all he loved to skateboard and was always out on that board.
He started studying at the Institute of Tourism Studies and was training to be a tennis coach but had to give that up when we discovered a cyst on his brain. His Dr. discovered that, and it is thanks to him that Cliff was operated on successfully in September, 1999.
He never recovered psychologically from that operation and had some problems with delusions. He had to take some heavy medication to stay "nomal". Sometimes he was ok. Other days not so good, but he always tried his best to lead a normal life. We don't know what he went through, for he always tried to keep a brave face on it.
He had so many friends. He was so popular that the girls used to fight to go out with him yet he said "Mum, the only thing I want is a girlfriend." He was so good looking yet he was the only one who didn't think so.
Last year he went with his friend James to France and visited Eurodisney. That was his last trip abroad. He never complained and never did anyone harm. He loved me and his brother and his step-father.
The last week of his life he had a real bad flu and stopped taking his medication. I guess that is why on 20th February, 2001, he took his own life.
He telephoned me twice at work and I phoned him back. He said "Mum, I'm real bad." I asked if he had taken his medicine. When he told me no, I told him to take it, and asked if he was alone. He told me no, there was his little brother and his Dad with him. I told him to take care and I would see him when I got home. He tried so hard to tell me but he couldn't. I never did see him when I got home. He threw himself from seven stories. He was still alive when they got him to hospital. We prayed and hoped for another three hours but they couldn't save him and God took him.
Cliff, we will never know what happened that day to you and why you did that. All we know is the void you have left behind. Your little brother misses you so much and doesn't understand where you are, just that you went to heaven and he saw you go at your funeral.
You had so many people at your funeral. There were over 200 friends and my colleagues. They closed the college so everyone could come, students, neighbours. Auntie Pat and Uncle Roy and everyone came home for a 'wake' to play your music and remember you. The service was beautiful and very moving.
We'll never hear your laugh, see your smiling face, hear you 'fighting' and teasing with your little brother. You loved to play "prince of persia" on the computer and racing and snowboarding games with your little brother. You spent hours loading new games for him. You always let him win and were always doing things for him. You never thought of yourself.
So many people love you and miss you. I'm sure there was a girlfriend just waiting out there for you. I sure hope you have found one in heaven. I know that you are now Ramon's guardian angel and that you're watching us from a distance. We all love and miss you so much.
I hope the day we meet again is one day soon.
Mum
